July 9, 2010

The Wasabi Incident

Dearest readers, I thought I’d give you a little break from cooking and allow you to digest all the yummy food you’ve doubtlessly been eating. So, instead of a post about a recipe, I’m going to tell you a little story. You may want to grab the nearest plushy stuffed animal to hold on to, because it is a bit scary.

Got your teddy bear? Good. Let us begin.

Today, I present the harrowing tale of…Too Much Wasabi!!!!

It all began innocently enough. One day, I set about preparing my lunch, selecting a lovely container of sushi from the fridge. After placing a few pieces of the heavenly rolls on my plate, I noticed an interesting green substance sitting in the sushi container. Curious, I examined it closer and came to the conclusion that it must be guacamole, because I am from Texas and am convinced that there are trace amounts of that avocado ambrosia coursing through my veins.

Having happened upon such a wonderful discovery, I excitedly spread the entire glob of green goodness on one piece of sushi and popped it in my mouth with gleeful abandon.

I imagine by now that you have guessed that I wasn't munching on guacamole.

That deceptively delightful substance was indeed wasabi.

Within a millisecond of hitting my tongue, the devilish wasabi worked its magic, setting my mouth afire with its spicy flames. At this point, a sensible person would have spit out the offensive nibblet. I, however, am not a sensible person, and continued to chew and swallow the entire piece of wasabi-fied sushi, searing my taste buds and sending it’s flames licking down my throat as well.

By now my mouth was practically numb and my temples were beginning to perspire. I had to act fast. Scrambling around my kitchen, I filled a glass with some spice-dousing milk and chugged it at lightning speed. After the milk, I proceeded to down an entire water bottle as well, finally quieting the wasabi fiesta taking place in my mouth.

Now that I’ve sufficiently terrified you with my vivid recollections of the most painful food experience of my life, I’ll provide you with some visual representations as well!

This is wasabi.

This is guacamole.

Wasabi is not guacamole.

This is sushi. It is tasty and harmless.

This is wasabi on top of sushi. It is momentarily tasty and then extremely painful.

On a side note, while I was taking the above photos, my dad wandered into the kitchen, presumably wondering why I was taking pictures of sushi by the sink, and proceeded to steal that piece of wasabi-covered sushi and pop it into his mouth. I watched on in horror as he chewed gleefully and then proceeded to go about his business without so much as a sip of water.

I feel like such a weakling. My entire traumatizing story has been completely invalidated.

Oh well, I just chalk it up there with my dad’s disturbing amount of upper body strength, as demonstrated by the fact that I actually bounce away from him whenever I try to push him out of my way.

Do you see what I have to endure? Do you?!

Anyway, I don’t want to frighten you any further, so I will conclude storytime for today.

If you have dreams about pieces of wasabi chasing you through a sushi restaurant tonight, don’t blame me.


11 comments:

  1. Poor Koci, I feel your pain. Since I was born in New Orleans, cayenne and tabasco don't bother me in the least, but add some Texas peppers and I feel the heat. My Dad was one of those who liked lots of spice and my grandmother didn't consider her gumbo ready until people sweated during dinner.

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  2. I just don't get it, Lady Cooks the Blues! I can usually handle my share of spice, but this wasabi had me blindsided! :D

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  3. AnonymousJuly 09, 2010

    I love the humorous anecdote!

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  4. ohh dear! Painful! Just thought I'd stop by and see 'bout your blog. I didn't expect to read such a tramatic story! I don't believe I've ever tasted Wasabi. I smelled it, it was repulsive, I didn't even bother to bring it anywhere near my mouth!

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  5. If I may also add, I believe Guy's quote of "Culinary Napalm" would totally cover this incident!

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  6. Meg, you are much wiser than I. Wasabi is fine in moderation, I have been told, although I am much too scarred to set foot near it for at least another twenty years.

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  7. Lol!
    I live in the region of Japan, Shizuoka, where wasabi was grown for the first time in the beginning of the 17th Century!
    Don't worry too much as wasabi is also a medicinal herb!
    Drink of plenty of Japanese sake next time!
    Best regards,
    Robert-Gilles

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  8. Cool, I never knew that! I've been told that one way to alleviate the wasabi burn is to press on the top of your head while pinching your nose, but I haven't put it into practice yet!

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  9. Hola! I'm one of those people that can't eat food that's too spicy but when it comes to wasabi - gimme all of it! Funny story - you scared my teddy bear.

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  10. Hahaha what a funny story! Not that I'm laughing at you of course. I had a similar experience with wasabi.. Except, thought it was green tea ice cream and I ate a spoonful of it! It was indeed horrible.
    You have a cute blog :) Keep up the good work Koci!

    http://madewithlove-t.blogspot.com/

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  11. @Trissa~ That's the way I am with cayenne!

    @Tiffany~ Thanks! Green tea ice cream?! That's brutal! Glad to see I'm not the only one who's been deceived by wasabi.

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Thanks for commenting! By leaving a comment, you officially become one of my favorite people. Mwah! :D

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