1. A condition characterized by the excessive and compulsive consumption of salsa to the point that it interferes with a person’s health and ability to function in day-to-day life. Signs of this disorder include, but are not limited to, disappearance of tortilla chips, cilantro-induced separation anxiety, and unusually ferocious protection of pineapples, mangoes, tomatoes, and the like. Side-effects of salsaholism are generally manifested in one or more of the following conditions: panting; water-gulping; salty, tortilla chip lips; and an unreasonable amounts of happy-dancing. While it is possible to cure salsaholism through intense cognitive behavioral therapy involving a series of whistles, chili peppers, and short track speed skating, most sufferers of salsaholism, or salsaholics, are notoriously resistant to treatment and will regularly refuse to admit that they have a problem. Above all else, salsaholics should be kept away from any combination of the following ingredients:
Roasted pineapple, as the tempting amalgamation of sweet and spicy is simply too much for even non-salsaholics to bear.
Red onion, due to its festive purple color, which lures potential salsaholics into a false sense of security.
Habanero peppers, because it is their kryptonite.
Cilantro, for its fresh flavor and hypnotizing beauty.
When the aforementioned ingredients are mixed together, along with a squirt of fresh lime juice and a pinch of kosher salt, the tasty results are too much for even the most serious salsaholics to withstand. In order to avoid finding the salsaholic crouched in a corner, shoveling chip-fulls of pineapple-habanero glory into their greedy mouths, and fiercely hissing at passers-by, family members and loved ones are advised to keep salsaholics away from this blog post at all costs.
Oh…wait. You’re a salsaholic, aren’t you?
Okay, okay, okaaaay…you are not a salsaholic and you do not have a problem.
I agree, you can stop eating salsa any time you want.
But yeah, you’re totally right. Roasted pineapple salsa with habanero sounds like a great snack.
I’ll grab the bowl, you grab the chips?
Salsa de Piña Asada con Habanero: Roasted Pineapple Salsa with Habanero
Recipe adapted from “Salsa de Piña Asada con Habanero: Roasted Pineapple Salsa with Habanero” by Roberto Santibañez with JJ Goode, Epicurious.com, April 2011
4-6 round slices fresh pineapple (1/2-inch thick)
1/4 cup mild olive oil or vegetable oil
1/2 large red onion (1 cup), finely chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 freshly-squeezed lime juice, or more to taste
2 fresh habanero peppers, minced, including the seeds
1 teaspoon kosher salt, to taste
Set the oven to broil, positioning the rack 8 inches from the heat source. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray or cover with nonstick aluminum foil.
Brush both sides of the pineapple slices with the oil and place on a baking sheet. Roast the pineapple in the oven for about 8 minutes, then turn and continue to roast for another 8 minutes. Let cool.
Dice the pineapple, removing the core. In a large bowl, stir together the pineapple, red onion, cilantro, lime juice, habaneros, and salt, seasoning to taste with additional lime juice and salt.
Keeps well in the fridge for up to 24 hours. Makes about 2 1/2 cups of salsa.